Tuesday, March 23, 2010

growing up means never having to say hello in person

A man whom I've never met but apparently saw me at a bar on the island last week told his cop friend (who knows my mom and my mom's friend who I was with, also it was March on island and thus the bar scene was scarce and unexciting) that he thought I was cute. I only met the cop friend briefly at said bar (sorry for the he said/she said recount), and didn't say much. But his FRIEND apparently saw me. He's 25. So of course the adult thing to do is tell your cop friend who then texts my mom who texts me and asks, "Can he facebook you?" I respond to my mom, "Well, we're all adults here".

What I say in my head: Yeah, oh yeah definitely, tell this guy who I didn't ever speak to in my life that is three years older than me that asked to FACEBOOK me through his friend who then texted my mom, that he can in fact have permission to look at an online profile of me which he could only simply access if he knew my full name.

*Breathe out*

Thursday, March 18, 2010


I am 22 and I still use acne cream. And it DOESN'T work.

Or whatever

Right now I'm on a Peter Pan bus. I'm realizing this is the last time I'll ever be riding from MV to Amherst. I don't know if this is good or not. It's just big. Or not that big.

On a completely unrelated note, I figured out an Of Montreal lyric. They're pretty esoteric, but I think I got it. "We don't want these days to ever end. We just want to emasculate them forever."
Emasculate days??? What, Kevin Barnes? But it's very carpe diem. "Grab life by the balls, grab today by the balls, emasculate your day".

Wow... my bus driver sucks. Totally drove up a curve and almost crashed at a rotary.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I want to disturb my neighbor

My mom made me artichokes, salad, and mac n cheese and carrot cake tonight. I am stomach-poppin filled. But it all tasted so good. I got a little necklace with the world on it because when she asked what I wanted I said, "Uhhm world peace and to graduate".

Tomorrow I have studio time in a dark room. Twill be amazing. Hopefully.

Feelin' a little down. But I'm just fine. I suppose.

Friday, March 12, 2010


Sharon made a prophesy that I will one day marry Edward Norton. That's absolutely acceptable.

Monday, March 8, 2010

I want someone that makes me want to shoop. Thanks.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Highlights of last night

Boy I was talking to that lives near me: Are you a hippie?
Me: No... what?
Boy: Cus you look like a hippie. I saw you and I thought, "Woah, hippie chick".
Me: Uhhh no. I mean I'm nice and have long hair...?
Boy: I thought you were a hippie.

*I walk into a room filled with 10 straight males rocking out to Lady Gaga at the end of a party*
Me: Woooooaaahhh

Some guy: So when did your parents separate
Me: Uhm before I was born
Some guy: Oh really how old were they?
Me: 24
Some guy: Oh man my mom was 17 when she had me,
Me: teen moms!
Some guy: Do you and your mom get along really well?

*Dancing with a guy in a friendly way*
Me: you have a girlfriend! I saw pictures!
Guy: Yeah i do.
Me: Awww.
Guy: It's her birthday in 2 minutes
Me: Call her call her call her
Guy: ehh I texted her
Me: Lame! You have to call her and be like... "Baby I love you so much!"
Guy: Uhh I've never told her that
Me: But you feel it. I know you do
Guy: Wow, you're surprisingly romantic.

Back story: Six months ago I drunkenly opened my apartment door thinking someone had knocked on it. No one had. I still invited the dude in the hallway in, though he hadn't knocked. I gave him a tour of my apartment. My roommates were not thrilled. Then I kicked him out abruptly because I was bored. He called me a bitch. I never remembered who it was remotely and never saw him again.

That guy: Oh gosh! It's you!
Me: Oh man!! I gave you a drunk tour!! Then you called me a bitch
*we high five*
That guy: I could never remember who it was
Me: Me neither!! You called me a bitch
That guy: I probably meant it in the fun way. Like, "Bye bitttccchees"
Me: Nope. Nope you did not.

Me about every 30 minutes: Kristie come! I have to pee! I only want to pee outside. Let's go behind the barn!

There were low lights too, but lets keep them off here. After five hours of sleep I woke up because I can't sleep anymore. I am exhausted and have an extreme headache. It's supposed to be wonderful out today. And so it goes...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I have realized that I either have good eyebrow days or bad ones. Like hair days (I got bad/good ones of those too). My eyebrows are such a length and unplucked, so that if I sleep on them wrong or if they're just feeling whimsy, they will go completely wacky. I just lotioned my most treacherous eyebrow. To keep it into place. New, odd, low?

My working definition of cliche: that which will knowably pull your heart strings

I am reading On The Road for the first time, after avoiding it for no particular reason my whole life. And I HATE HATE HATE it. I never usually feel strongly in a negative way towards books. But man, it is so bad and what makes it worse is that it is revered.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

honorary degree

I want to nominate Chris Meloni to get an honorary degree from my college this year. Any ideas for the essay?