Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I recently heard on a teen show that big dilated pupils means you're in love. I thought that this was thirteen-year-old logic, but I guess it's true. However-- it's not a reliable meter. Drugs, darkness, alcohol, fear, and surprise also dilate pupils. Also, apparently anything does. i just went to the bathroom and had huge pupils and I just woke up. Not that I'm not in love with the toilet, but I think this concept is hilarious. No, online dating still wins.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Last night I was at a bar and the discussion was about condoms for a moment when we noticed a bowl of them on the bar for free. The bartender, a salt-n-peppered seasoned type of burly man said one of the best one-liners. "My personality is my condom". Thank you.
I realize in order to kiss someone you kind of have to ignore a lot of things. Namely, where their mouth has been. You have to suspend your knowledge and remain ignorant lest you may think of their tongue on an unattractive person's tongue, someone's genitals, on that dropped toothbrush, or (god willing) someone's ass. I haven't kissed anyone in a really long time, but after watching it a lot on TV today, I realized that you kind of just gotta fake it or you'll never wanna smooch again. Wisdom.