Tuesday, January 25, 2011

state of the onion

"It isn't that every generation thinks it's invented sex so much as a better way of doing it — like you can remove the messiness from human intimacy."

-An article on why the idea of Friends with Benefits is kind of Hello. Finally. Thank you. I refuse to believe that physicality can ever truly be devoid of human connection.. Sure, there can be less emotionally stimulating physical interactions, but to dismiss that any form of human intimacy is deplete of emotion or can ever be that tidy--for any gender--is a little old. These fresh ideas of no strings attached etc etc are ways of avoiding the inevi

magica

How come nobody has done a vibrator montage to The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" yet? Or has it been done? I think it makes for good television.

Frere Jacques

  • "The pupils of our eyes dilate and grow larger when we see someone we're attracted to.
  • Larger and dilated pupils are seen as more attractive than smaller and contracted pupils."

  • I recently heard on a teen show that big dilated pupils means you're in love. I thought that this was thirteen-year-old logic, but I guess it's true. However-- it's not a reliable meter. Drugs, darkness, alcohol, fear, and surprise also dilate pupils. Also, apparently anything does. i just went to the bathroom and had huge pupils and I just woke up. Not that I'm not in love with the toilet, but I think this concept is hilarious. No, online dating still wins.

    Thursday, January 20, 2011

    Favorite Quote

    Last night I was at a bar and the discussion was about condoms for a moment when we noticed a bowl of them on the bar for free. The bartender, a salt-n-peppered seasoned type of burly man said one of the best one-liners. "My personality is my condom". Thank you.

    God Only Knows

    I realize in order to kiss someone you kind of have to ignore a lot of things. Namely, where their mouth has been. You have to suspend your knowledge and remain ignorant lest you may think of their tongue on an unattractive person's tongue, someone's genitals, on that dropped toothbrush, or (god willing) someone's ass. I haven't kissed anyone in a really long time, but after watching it a lot on TV today, I realized that you kind of just gotta fake it or you'll never wanna smooch again. Wisdom.