Phenom-ma-man

Curious trend: So, I've been to Brooklyn three times in my entire life on visits to my sister. On these three visits I have been to her nearby deli three times in my entire life. I have spent about five minutes each time in said deli. AND YET, and yet the worker there who is Americanly called Sam is completely obsessed with me. What did I do to cause this? Answer: absolutely nothing except show up in glasses and grease string hair at 1am to buy fatty foodstuffs like ice cream and cookies on three occasions over the span of two years. I wasn't even very friendly! He asked for my email address on the second trip and I gave it to him with Terri's assurance that he probably didn't know how to plug in a computer. That proved absolutely and completely true. On my third and most recent trip, I with cell phone in hand, was asked for my number. No backing down. I had the goddamn thing on me. He told me to let him call it so we could see if it worked. Since then I have received oh maybe 7 texts from him. Wishing happy holidays, asking for my email (again?? why?? what would you say?? We now sell Annie's mac n cheese and there's a 2 for 1 sale on pastrami this week??) All of these texts are in barely-there English, with just enough resemblance to English words for me to make out their meaning. I have never answered, and yet they come.

Two nights ago was a gem of unbelievable proportions: Hi hwo ar yuo i muceo

I understand this resembles a drunk text, and you're all like oh Katie that's just a drunk text. But I know beyond a reasonable doubt that he is standing in the deli and texting me. He's ALWAYS there. I THINK and by THINK mean GUESS WITH A TINY SHRED OF CERTAINTY that it says "Hi how are you? I miss you". But one may never know.


On another note, I wish I smelled differently today because it isn't.....good.